You should not be surprised at my saying, you must be born again. John 3:7 NIV


As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the maker of all things. Ecc. 11:5 NIV


I keep being concerned about creatures walking around among us who are unable to give a personal testimony of the day and the hour, and of the events of their birth. Such complete disregard for the primal event of becoming a human being should be unthinkable. Anyone who can not provide a clear definition of this important event is probably an imposter; an overgrown fetus, masquerading as a real person. Such despicable creatures should be discerned and dealt with in an appropriate manner.


In my case, I clearly remember all. My former existence was so confining. I remember that jostling and sloshing; being bumped and poked at; unable to hear or see clearly; unable to talk back or to participate in any human activity outside my small domain. Oh! How I longed to be free; longed to be ‘part of their world.’


And then one day the pressure became unbearable. I decided to trade my womb for a cervix, and the cervix for the wide open spaces beyond. I made my way, fraught with myriad dangers, down that aisle and yielded myself to this new life. Oh, the joy of that moment! Oh, the sheer pleasure of that first, fresh breath of air! Oh, the satisfaction of landing in the arms of your laughing, crying dad.


If you weren’t born in your grandma’s kitchen; If Grandma didn’t faint when you came into the world; if your own dad wasn’t the midwife; and further, if you can’t personally recount those details from memory, then I seriously suspect the validity of your birth. Knowing the importance of forestalling this blatant disregard of human propriety, I have dedicated my entire life to teaching fetuses ‘The Four Physical Laws to Being Born.’


The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.

John 3:8 NIV


Jonas J. Borntreger

© Oct. 2007 JJB